“I might die soon. Maybe in 20 years, maybe tomorrow. If something goes wrong, that’s it. Once I’m gone, I am nobody. The people I knew will also be gone. It’s almost as if I never existed. Have I made even the smallest difference in someone’s life? I don’t remember anyone. Not one.”
1. Warren Schmidt: A Reflection on Life
Warren Schmidt is not someone I know personally, nor does anyone I know. In fact, he isn’t real at all—he’s a fictional character from the 2002 film About Schmidt, played by Jack Nicholson.
As the movie begins, Schmidt has just retired from his long-time job at an insurance company. He explains how insurance firms calculate a person's probable lifespan, considering factors like family medical history, diabetes, high blood pressure, occupation, income level, and housing status—whether they rent or own, and if renting, how much they pay. This data is fed into a system that estimates life expectancy.
According to these calculations, Schmidt—who battles depression—has approximately 20 more years to live.
“I might die soon. Maybe in 20 years, maybe tomorrow. If something goes wrong, that’s it. Once I’m gone, I am nobody. The people I knew will also be gone. It’s almost as if I never existed. Have I made even the smallest difference in someone’s life? I don’t remember anyone. Not one.”
This reflection from Schmidt lingers long after the credits roll.
2. A Night in Sylhet
Last night was my final evening in Sylhet, a city about 200 kilometers northeast of Dhaka. As usual, I had dinner at Panch Bhai Restaurant—which translates to Five Brothers Restaurant. Afterward, I walked towards Jindabazar, a bustling business district near my hotel. On the way, I passed by a couple of other restaurants, including Panshee—named after a traditional Bangladeshi boat. Though likely just a name, I’ve always found it amusing that they serve tea in clay pots.
It’s an odd choice. Clay pots are usually reserved for cold dishes—yogurt, panta bhat (fermented rice), or chotpoti, a beloved street food among young girls in Bangladesh and India. But hot tea? That’s unconventional. Still, some restaurants have been using clay pots for years, a practice rooted in an older, more eco-friendly era before industrialization.
As I debated getting a cup of tea, an elderly woman approached me, her hands full of colorful balloons. I braced myself for the sales pitch. No, Khala (Aunt), I don’t need any balloons, I thought. But she didn’t try to sell them. Instead, she simply said, “I’m hungry.”
“Would you like something to eat?” I asked.
“Sure,” she replied.
“Come with me.”
With childlike enthusiasm, she crossed the street beside me, her happiness radiating through her movements. In that fleeting moment, I saw not an old woman, but a girl, smiling with youthful joy.
We entered Panshee. I called over a waiter and told him that Khala would have dinner here. He turned to her. “What would you like to eat?”
She leaned in and whispered shyly, “Rice with beef. And some fried vegetables too.”
I nodded, found her a table, and went to the counter to pay for her meal. Then, I ordered a cup of their special milk tea.
As I was about to leave, I spotted Khala at the restaurant’s gate. She had a bright smile on her face. “The food was delicious!” she beamed. Then, extending a balloon, she added, “Take this. It’s for you.”
“I don’t need a balloon, Khala.”
“Then take a selfie with me.”
I laughed. “Of course! But how will you see it?”
She shrugged playfully. “I don’t need to see it. But you can still see me after I’m gone.”
“Can I post it online so others can see you too?”
She smiled again. “Sure, do it!”
3. Memory and Meaning
I am a selfish person. People come and go in my life, and I forget most of them. After two bouts of COVID, even my memory seems weaker. Remembering a new acquaintance’s name often feels like an uphill battle.
Truthfully, I won’t return to Sylhet just for this old woman. But if I ever find myself in Jallar Par again, I know I will look for her smile. And perhaps, in that moment, I will remember what she said:
“You can still see me when I die.”
Sylhet, Bangladesh | 10 December, 2023
